just a twist and turn away from sweet torture [drEaMEr]
| if you open my rib cage, youll see that the heart still beats after you kill me | Nov 21, 09 @ 12:13am |
| Illusive- crash
They weave in and out of shadows. They are the glimmer of the eye. They tease the winds and clouds. They sleep within the sky. They’re the apparition in the darkness. They are the whisper you don’t hear. They’re the creatures in the water. They are the aging, wasting years. They are on the tempest in the distance. They wear the fog as long, free cloaks. They dance with notes inside the dirges. They are the words on which you choke. They are the claws and the mockery. They are the dreams of distance and dead. They are the cold sweat in which you’re freaking. They are only in your head. My Puppetteer- crash I drink. I drink until I’m drunk. I falter, fade. I feel the funk. I spit. I sputter. I lose my spunk. Use me. Abuse me. Toss me in your toy trunk. Kiss me. Kiss me. Make me sigh. Make me feel like I can fly. Now shoot me. Shoot me. Bleed me dry. Kill me ’til I cannot die. Radiate sweet nightshade beams. Sew me up with chain-linked seams. Throw down my last and lonely dreams. Turn my song to a tune of screams. Milk it. Milk it ’til they believe. Gone to a post with none to relieve. Damn my soul before you leave. Oh so good when you deceive. Blind-Sighted Love- crash The roses have wilted and turned rotted black. All of my writings blown from their stack. My indistinct muttering leaves my walls all annoyed. My mind in chaos, my world destroyed. Eyes rubbed red on a tear-stained face. A fallen black monster now grows in my place. My fingers and knuckles rubbed raw to the bone from scraping to get you everything you now own. The pressure blew out my back and my knees. The pressure to let you do as you please. "You belong to me", in my mind, you carved. I gave you attention, leaving me starved. My life and my time all went towards you. From each of your battles, I have every bruise. You said you loved me, a subconscious slave. I gave you my heart and you gave me my grave. I endured every request, every word, every smack. I swallowed my pride and fell to the back. And someday when I heal and you’e out of my life, I’ll pick up your darkness and step back into the light... That Girl- Mishi I do not even know this girl but I’m curious as to why she cries. What skeletons are laying behind those searching eyes? I wonder why she hates him, why she still holds a grudge. I wonder what he said to her and why her depression will not budge. I wonder what he meant to her, and what exactly he let her see. I wonder what she meant to him, or if she meant anything. I wonder why she keeps photos and the same goes for him, when a hatred seems to smolder like the heart of eternal sin. What signifigance is there in it, if there is any at all, in replaying poisonous memories when he doesn’t even return her call? I don’t understand her feelings but I understand her angry words. I read it with a poets perspective while others find it perverse. I wonder if she knows me and if she hates me as well, because even though I don’t know her, I think I’m the reason she’s in hell. I wonder if he still cares for her. I wonder what he feels because he won’t speak of her. Just busted her off and stitched his seals. No... I do not even know this girl but I am curious as to why she cries. What skeletons are lurking behind those saddened, hateful eyes? {{the busted china doll}} Dropped hard by a cold heartless hand. Shattered into a thousand pieces that are simply impossible to put back together. But a china doll doesn’t ask to be put back together. It simply lies there, busted and no longer beautiful. It asks for no mourners or pity, no love or way to prevent the inevitable. It just lays there and absorbs the blow of being scattered helplessly across the floor, just waiting forever patient for someone to come along and clean up the mess of porcelain glass and dust. No... The busted china doll never asks for mourners or pity, no love or way to prevent the inevitable. It doesn’t ask for a reason why or a clear conscience of any particular reason why. It simply lies there... Pieces of glass just laying askew... Waiting to unintentionally get revenge. I adore the busted china doll. I adore the busted china doll with an unhealthy amount of admiration. It’s no one inparticular. It’s not a human being. The doll doesn’t symbolize anything or anyone. Its simply stands for itself and what it is; a busted china doll. "To My Ghosts" Even though we've drifted apart you were never found far from my heart. There was always a place here for you because, I've heard, that's what friends do. Friend, a word, a noun, a thing. An angel, a confidant, a human being. You were here and now you're there but our memories are scattered everywhere amongst my books, my photos, my dreams, amongst old clothes, deep within the seams. I could point you out drowning in the crowd because our spirits are still just as loud and they're screaming and laughing and cheering along about how much we hate that poser's stupid "punk" song. But look at us now in only a few years. Look what we're listening to in our ears. That stupid poser and those stupid songs. We find it not so bad to sing along. We've met new people and we've found new love. We've come from down low to high up above. We have our old memories while we create newer ones. We miss the old times when we used to always have fun. Who cared how we dressed and who cared what we did? Who worried about drama? We were just kids. None of us fought each other but we fought for everything else. We fought for what was wrong to be right and told everyone to go to hell. We've grown up fast, and we've grown apart but there's still this place here for you, deep in my heart. |
|
current mood: exhausted current music: dethklok |
|
| [reply] [0 comments] | |
| gotta keep all my blogs in sync | Nov 20, 09 @ 1:41am |
| nonsense!
YOUR impression of ME is impeccably expressionless. YOU don't react to ME at all. Quite frankly, that pisses ME off. YOU look right through ME and it's painfully obvious. YOU just ignore ME like an itch. Quite frankly, that pisses ME off. YOU laugh with ME and not at ME. I want to scream, "What's wrong with YOU?" Quite frankly, that pisses ME off. I realize that this poem makes almost no sense. I don't even know why I wrote it. And quite frankly, this pisses ME off. Sick, Sad Little Dear anything sharp. anything dull. Veins map my skin. Can you hear them call? And what about my hair? OH! it's just a mess! something. sharp or dull. My hands can rip out the rest. Oh my beautiful fingers. Oh these beautiful hands. My slaughter-pretty wrists. If only you'd understand. Can you hear your blood? It's singing love, listen! Something Sharp. Something Sleek! on which these rubies can glisten. Beautiful! Beautiful! 'Tis not pain but fire! Cauterize each slash before my blood expires. must keep this fresh oh these scars on the flesh you may think i'm crazy but your blades just look lazy across the street, down the lane, all over the road. I won't feel the pain! I screech to a stop! Smack into a wall. Swallowed by darkness. In your eyes, I fall. Baby, ignore the gnarled skin. Ignore my twisted words. Accept me as I am beautiful, in case you haven't heard. needles in my fingertips i sewed some lace into my lips must keep this fresh oh these scars of the flesh my love i'm not crazy but your razors were so lazy THINGS GETTING HAZY. OH BABY, I'M CRAZY! This time, too far across the street and down the lane way too deep. No time to cauterize. I must operate! Forgive me for the mess, but this high is just too great. I love you baby, but you just don't understand. I'm bleeding. I'm screaming. I hold the world in my hand. The last kiss from the razor sent me flying. The last kiss from you is why I'm dying. The Grand Stage The vacant homes watch with concern. Still nervous, but sometimes, it's okay to stare. No one feels safe or secure when the world hits rock bottom and deadly deception finds beautiful redemption. Odds and ends, like the miracles of opinion and diversity say good-bye as more important matters like erectile dysfunction sweep the U.S. 'cause who cares? But what ever happened to the life of the cancer patient or treating us like equals? Isn't it truly amazing how no one even respects life or death anymore? As if there is a ban on respect and life, and we just stand by as THE SHOW MUST GO ON. {{{I find myself surrounded by oxygen and dreams as I slip through framework reality and into sleepy bed sheet seams. And what will conjure this time behind heavily lidded eyes? Movie projector screens for thought? Color? Truth? Or lies?}}} |
|
current mood: current music: |
|
| [reply] [0 comments] | |
| what teachers called freehand | Nov 19, 09 @ 10:45pm |
| ever wanted to wander into a fantasy world just to run faraway? just run deep into a fabric of the world that shouldnt really exist. stumble down a magical path perfect and worn. ivy and wild flowers twisting and waltzing down the sides of the dirty pebbled pathway. deep into and black jungle as pressing and swallowing as an abyss buried beneath the sea's undertow. walk until you're so far in you forget who you were before you arrived, who you are now walking in the dark, and who you will be when you finally break free from the darkness. when you break free of the dark, don't you just want to bathe in the sunshine? swim in a lake or river that truly glitters of diamonds and sapphires caught beneath the surface of the water? a world free of pollution and politics, discrimination and nagging parents, free from your bindings and free to be whoever you really are without facing trial or judgement. able to love and breathe with ease. not a care except to be alive and live. nowhere to have to be, no one telling you who you have to be or what to do or how to do it. nothing telling you "this is very very wrong and you shouldn't do this". wouldn't you want to lay down on a bed of soft whispering grass that begins a chorus with the wind and the earth and lulls you to sleep? no reason to be desparate or desolate in fear of never waking up or having nightmares or waking with tears. just dreams of a perfect place, so safe and so sacred that you'd never have to share it or give it up. a place deep in your mind, lost in your thoughts, erased until you need it. wouldn't it be glorious to just fade away like a legend and become a myth like a god? wouldn't it be simply wonderful if we could stay in such a place forever until we didn't die but just became a part of the beautiful scene until we no longer breathe? just our voice remained in the wind that whispers to the meadows and dances with the wheat and wildflowers and twists around the ivy until someone else finds the paradise and follows the same path to a haven that you yourself once found so long ago... | |
current mood: gone current music: mozart- carmina burana [o fortuna] |
|
| [reply] [0 comments] | |
| Give | Nov 3, 09 @ 10:03am |
| "I'd Give It All"
I'd give my eyes if you went blind just so you could see. I'd give you all my time so you could be all you could be. I'd give you my lungs if I ever stole your breath away. I'd give you eternal sunlight to brighten your darkest days. I'd give you my soul if you sold yours just to see you glow. I'd give you my treasures if you had none to show. I'd give you my hands of you'd forgotten how to hold. I'd give you my ears if you'd forgotten what you were told. I'd give you my emotions if you'd forgotten how to feel. I'd give you my fairytales if the world seems far too real. I'd give you sweet nothingness when everything elose is too heavy to hold. I'd give you my spirits if ever you felt too old. I'd give you my universe when my world is not enough. I'd give you silks and satins when cotton and wool is just too rough. I'd give you my kisses when words can't say it right. I'd give you my dreams when your fears invade your night. I'd give you my embrace when your worlds falls apart. I'd give you anything you wanted, especially my heart |
|
current mood: Deep current music: Swing Life Away |
|
| [reply] [1 comment] | |
| Fantasy | Oct 26, 09 @ 5:34pm |
| Here I stand,
I tower tall. Extend my hand and watch it fall. The ground expands and catches the seam ripped from a life that is just a dream... I haven't finished this one yet, but if I didn't get the words out of my head, I may have very well had a brain meltdown. Feel free to suggest ideas to add in if you'd like. drEaMEr |
|
current mood: distant current music: "Carmina Burana- O Fortuna" by Mozart |
|
| [reply] [1 comment] | |
| Untitled 5-5-08 | May 17, 08 @ 5:52pm |
| In a place so dark,
cold and kissed with a coat of dust and cobwebs, I lay in my tomb, barely breathing. The crypt where I exist but no one would dare to search for me even if I were to shriek in agony. The home in which I think of dreams, reality, nightmares, and the pertrifying combination of all three. The funny thing is I never want anyone to come looking for me here and yet, in this world, this very place, you stumbled right into me. Oh, my darling Mipiri; my dark light, my heart beat, my inspiration and my reason. You have stirred the phantoms and made the skeletons tremble as you woke me from my coma. This creature, this vampyre, this fallen black ash-covered angel. How I studied you, eyes devouring you because your wings, your chains, your ash, your pain, your darkness was exactly the same as mine as far as imagery goes, and to me you were and are beautiful. Captivating and breathtaking you are, and only you could make me beg on my knees in broken glass for just one more kiss, one more look, one last breath... Only you could rip my chains down and make me listen, make me want to answer a question that would keep me bound to you always and forever... ...and I said yes. When you're inches from me, I cannot help but smile near tears because it's hard to believe you're real, and you're mine, and I'm yours. When you're miles away, however, my heart does not beat and I do not breathe for you are my pulse and my air... When my eyes bleed, I beg to see you. I need to see you... ...and yet I know not when I will see you again. But when you're too faraway I twist the ring and remember one thing: that you picked me... And as for us? We are alive. |
|
current mood: lost in the abyss of his love current music: deepfield |
|
| [reply] [0 comments] | |
| some of my newest work. | Aug 11, 07 @ 9:53pm |
| "The Shroud of Death"
A fogging filth fills up my brain. A burning in my head to make me insane. A deadly torture, rocking each sell. A suffocating kiss sends my rapture to hell. The Devils words bend me in half. The deadly sin of his bludgeoning wrath. The demons tongue strays over my flesh. The scars reopen, pulsing and fresh. Each secret emblazoned on my bones, branded. Each act of forgetting leaves me stranded. Each spell thriving inside my vein. Each word rotting and numbing the pain. Give me a thread to hold myself tight. Give me that reason to sleep every night. Give me a chance to beg for my soul. Give me a choice to choose my hole. Capture my tongue to freeze in my mouth. Capture my vision facing a pitch black south. Capture my being and puncture my chance. Capture my essence and break a lifetime of trance... "What Perfect Feels Like" Hold my hands, kiss my lips. Place your palms colse to my hips. Lay my head down on your chest. Taking short, shivering breaths. Forgetting all of the real world. You whisper "You're the perfect girl". Close our eyes and hum a tune. The silent touch of a dreamy moon. You hope we're never far apart. The fleeting sound of our beating hearts. Dance beneath the stars above. This must be the feel of love. "Fix and Drop" I hate you. You love me. I run and you follow. You sing. I scream. You're full and I'm hollow. I push away. You pull me in. I am dead and you're alive. You kiss. I bite. You accept and I deny. A monster grows inside the place I won't let you go. A being way too fragile for you to have and hold. A wound needs to be cauterized, but I don't want you to fall in. A vow, a swear, to love me is by far your ultimate sin. You say you only want to care, but your embrace is warm to my ice. You'd melt away my barrier and grant me vibrant life. You want me to see this place with these smoldering, ashened eyes. You tell me I am beauty and glory awaiting rise. You hate me. I love you. You run and I follow. I sing. You scream. I'm full and you're hollow. You push away. I pull you in. You're dead and I'm alive. I kiss. You bite. I finally accept. You say good-bye. "My Puppetteer" I drink. I drink, until I'm drunk. I falter, fade. I feel the funk. I spit. I sputter. I lose my spunk. Use me. Abuse me. Toss me in your toy trunk. Kiss me. Kiss me. Make me sigh. Make me feel like I can fly. Now shoot me. Shoot me. Bleed me dry. Kill me 'til I cannot die. Radiate sweet nightshade beams. Sew me up with chain linked seams. Throw down my last and lonely dreams. Turn my song to a tune that screams. Milk it. Milk it, 'til they believe. Gone to a post with none to relieve. Damn my soul before you leave. Oh so good when you deceive. "Creature" She smiles with that jester grin full of all her filthy sins. Sharpened fangs in bloody jowls. Deep in her throat erupts the howls. Her bony hands and jagged claws mangled with wounds from pointless brawls. Knuckles gnarled with gray warped flesh. Which ones are scars? Which ones are fresh? Deformed right down to her very worth. Her being cursed to tread the earth. "Beauty Queen" She walks down the hallway with no kindness to lend. She thinks that she's perfect with her Barbie-like trend. They watch her with envy and whisper with scorn. Everyone wants her crown of thorns. They part like the sea at a flick of her wrist. Her diamonds and gold contour her in twists. With her head in the clouds, she knows not that she'd blind and all of her lying tightens the bind to teh world she's created, in which she is Queen, of all the damned, filthy and mean. "An Aquarius Savior" Riptides waltz beneath my feet and encompass chilling bones, warming away the nightmares of hours lost from home. A tale I know too well, but one I do not tell enough is erased along with ghost chills and years of calling bluffs. Serenity of the ocean, oh bathe me in your shine. Rust away the shackles and scare away all time. Give me a dream in these grains of salt that taste like tears that dripped in fault, and make it a dream that is one only I would wish. Rock me away in undertow and cover me in dark abyss. |
|
current mood: bored yet pleased current music: placebo |
|
| [reply] [0 comments] | |
| It's Always Okay, My Angel | Jul 3, 07 @ 8:33pm |
| Let's fly across miles
to meet, again, our sweet lover, and retreat into embraces of sweat and tears of each other. It's okay to love what they dispise. It's okay to see beneath the disguise. It's okay to miss within seconds of loss. It's okay to cry among branches and moss. It's okay to kiss and still contain. It's okay to feel for what keeps you sane. It's okay to hold what you always want near. It's okay to whisper about the things that you fear. It's okay to sneak and meet in the dark. It's okay to love the beats of your heart. It's okay to crumble in arms that hold tight. It's okay to protect and lull deep in the night. It's okay to let go and see the stars up above. It's okay to be innocent and still fall in love. It's okay to be romantic in a place where they see. It's okay to admit and set yourself free. It's okay to dream and lovingly sigh. It's okay to look deep and drift safe to your sky. It's okay to be honest and remember it's real. It's okay to voice what you truly feel... Let's fly across miles to meet, again, our sweet lover, and retreat into embraces of sweat and tears of each other. |
|
current mood: lonely, upset, bored, left out current music: mest |
|
| [reply] [0 comments] | |
| more poetry | Jun 28, 07 @ 11:43am |
| "The Fear Of Those Who Are Unafraid"
The phone keeps buzzing, but I'll keep ignoring the anger it gives me and the hate it's imploring. The voice that's obsessed with controlling my mind is calling and calling every open phone line. I turn off the phone and lie in the peace that my room used to offer, when my hurting would cease. But not on this night where the voice wrecks my thought of forgetting the sound that I wish I forgot. "When Love Doubts You" The pain inside my chest erupts sharp daggers and sends me down while my gait's in staggers. I lay on the floor, clutching my abs, while the wounds start to bleed where every blade stabs. My eyes welling acid as the seared flesh bloats. I stifle a screaming that's trapped in my throat. My heart undoes its bindings and ricochets inside my cage and bruises up the rest of me and I writhe here on my stage. Each of my limbs hyperextend and I begin to swallow my mouth. Who would've guessed that this would happen in the face of so much sweet doubt. "I'd Give It All" I'd give my eyes if you went blind just so you could see. I'd give you all my time so you could be all you could be. I'd give you my lungs if I ever stole your breath away. I'd give you eternal sunlight to brighten your darkest days. I'd give you my soul if you sold yours just to see you glow. I'd give you my treasures if you had none to show. I'd give you my hands of you'd forgotten how to hold. I'd give you my ears if you'd forgotten what you were told. I'd give you my emotions if you'd forgotten how to feel. I'd give you my fairytales if the world seems far too real. I'd give you sweet nothingness when everything elose is too heavy to hold. I'd give you my spirits if ever you felt too old. I'd give you my universe when my world is not enough. I'd give you silks and satins when cotton and wool is just too rough. I'd give you my kisses when words can't say it right. I'd give you my dreams when your fears invade your night. I'd give you my embrace when your worlds falls apart. I'd give you anything you wanted, especially my heart. "Crucial Awakening" A manifestation I cannot label dwells inside of me. It never stirs, only slumbers. It waits to unleash itself. It waits until you thoroughly piss me off. You taunt me and flaunt yourself while I run to the end of my chain and snarl. So stupid... Tsk Tsk! Don't you know any better? A black silhouetted apparition dissolves and the creature within quivers with wake. It's teh being none should disturb. How luscious that you have done so. Its body groans with its freshly shaken fuel. Its eyes hold rage that's fluorescent orange. Hate that's violent poison green. Tension that's rigorous malice red. And a lust for pain that's rapture black. Oh how delicious; these colors flash out! Lash out! And tear through the chain-linked restraint. The creature bears teeth of razors. Do you want to play a game? The creature bears a smile of hunger. The muscles of this inhuman strength yearn and begin to mesh in boundless pursuit. Pounce, take down, destroy, and watch. Oh looky... You don't bleed. You're not even real. Good thing this is only a doll, huh? You should count yourself lucky that the creature does not hunger for your kind of narcissistic plastic... "I walked through hell...and I'd do it again for you"- DreaMer I couldn't sleep tonight so instead, I'll come over. If that's alright? I'll walk all the way through hell, twice, just for you to hold me tight tonight. I couldn't begin to say what I had meant on the phone So I'm on my way. I'll walk all the way through hell today just for you to replay okay? Like I said, I'd walk all the way through hell and I'd do it again. Just for you (only for you). No way would I let go of what brought me back to life. To love. To live. To breathe. To be what you call beautiful. Am I truly, though? As I walk all this time I think my thoughts 'cause I'd walk the line. I'll walk all the way through hell (the line) just for your essence to combine with mine. As I walk, all this dark wraps in too close and pressures my heart. I'll walk all the way through hell (the dark) just for your sweet black heart to fix the apart. Like I said, I'd walk all the way through hell and I'd do it all over again if it brought me closer to you. To hope. To home. To love. To what you call a wish granted. Am I truly worth such a grant though? And no matter how hard I have to try. And no matter how hard I have to cry. And no matter how hard they have to try to take away what I hope is mine. Is this really ours? All ours? Our heaven? Our hell? Our life? Our death? Our love? Can I have such flimsy wings that will allow me to soar all the way to you tonight? And if I can, will you let me in? And if I can, will you still love me? Will you have the courage to step up and say that you love me still and more today? Will you have the courage to not break my heart even though it's held deep within your beautiful hands? |
|
current mood: kinda lonesome, kinda hungry current music: framing hanley |
|
| [reply] [0 comments] | |
| Some of my latest work... | Jun 19, 07 @ 1:37pm |
| "The Party Goer Is Born"
Mixed up. Twist up. Lose control. Smashed 'nd trashed. Feelin' bold. Liquid fire. Gone haywire. Just a little deeper. Chewin' nails. Memory fails. Pain's a little sweeter. Chewed 'nd screwed 'nd wantin' more. Chains. Restrains. Beat down the door. 'Nother pill. Cheapest thrill. Teeth that bite like candy. Then stagger far 'cross the yard 'cause now I'm feelin' dandy. "I'll Let You Escape" Take the rose thorn and place it to your lips. Feel it puncture more with its biting green kiss. Let its ficticious venom course through every nerve. Let it paralyze you now as your veins crawl like worms. Now lay here so dead and trust me, my love, that I'll let you pretend as you gaze to the above. As you lay comatose here on a grassy green bed, I'll protect and I'll whisper sweet nothings into your head. I'll let you escape as I hold you near so you come back alive and without fear. I'll pull you back before you're swallowed by the dark because I've been swallowed by your sweet pitch black heart. |
|
current mood: random, missing my love current music: Darkest Hour |
|
| [reply] [1 comment] | |
| pages: 1
|
|