Submit an Article | Bookmarked Articles

Viewing Articles About All - Page 13

Should the use of underweight models be banned in the media?	September 7, 2007, 12:34PM
by: cxnt
For many years, the fashion industry has set the international standard of beauty; however the pressure is now on the fashion industry to ban super-thin models to ensure the health of models in the future (Wilson, 2007). The international Academy for Eating Disorders has called for a ban on underweight models on the basis of their weight-to-height ratio (Finney, 2006). The majority of the fashion world has resisted such bans on the grounds of potential discrimination and freedom of design. In contrast, organisations such as the Australian Medical Association support the call to remove dangerously slim models from local catwalks, as they believe that underweight models contribute to the number of Australians suffering from eating disorders (Bolger, 2007). This essay will critically evaluate the literature for and against banning underweight models, and examine whether such a ban could be useful in reducing the occurrence of eating disorders. It is generally thought that the media’s use of slim models is a potential cause of eating disorders. One of the most common eating disorders is anorexia nervosa, which leads an individual to starve themselves and over-exercise until they are at least 15 percent below their ideal weight (Westen, Burton & Kowalski, 2006). During 2006, anorexia nervosa contributed to the deaths of three international models (Bolger, 2007). Following the deaths, the organisers of the Madrid Fashion Week were the first to ban underweight models from strutting the runways. Body Mass Index (BMI) was a deciding factor in the selection for inclusion in the event, where models with a BMI of less than 18 were excluded from participating (Wilson, 2007). Wadden, Brownell & Foster (2002, as cited in Westen, Burton & Kowalski, 2006) defined the calculation of BMI as ‘weight in kilograms divided by height in meters squared: kg/m²’, where a BMI between 18.5 and 25.9 is considered healthy (Bolger, 2007). However, the use of this scale as a means of judging whether or not a model should take to the catwalk has received some criticism, namely that the BMI does not take into account muscle mass or body type (Bolger, 2007). Some fashion officials, such as Cathy Gould of Elite Modelling Agency which is based in New York, have criticised the move to ban underweight models as discriminatory and fears that the careers of naturally ‘gazelle-like’ models will be put in jeopardy if the bans are enforced internationally (CNN, 2006). In another criticism, Elle magazine editor, Roberta Myles, likened the proposed certification of models based on health and psychological assessments to qualifying for the CIA (Wilson, 2007). Furthermore, others are criticising the anticipated ban solely on the basis of salvaging freedom of design (CNN, 2006), but is this a reason to put young girls at risk of developing eating disorders? Although the reasons for the fashion industry’s condemnation of an international ban on underweight women in the media are to be considered, the validity of their arguments are easily challenged. While many opinions from fashion officials have been released on the debate, there is no outstanding psychological evidence to warrant such opinions. On the other hand, the concerns of medical and psychological experts of the negative affects of exposure to sickly-thin women as an ideal has been widely reported and suggests that a ban on underweight models would be useful in reducing the occurrence of eating disorders. In order to actually enforce an international ban on underweight models in magazines and on the runway, the imposing parties must be of sufficient justification to cause such a change in the big-wide-world of fashion. While the portrayal of a thin ideal in the media is not a direct cause of eating disorders, a culture’s idea of beauty is formed by this representation (Finney, 2006). The Eating Disorders Foundation of Victoria identified the pressure of individuals to live up to cultural ideas of beauty to be a major influence in the development of an eating disorder. Body dissatisfaction is another identified cause of eating disorders. According to Willinge, Touyz & Charles (2006), individuals suffering from body dissatisfaction are more likely consider thinner bodies to be ideal than individuals who are satisfied with their bodies. This is particularly alarming when Stice & Whitenton (2002) reported a quarter of girls in their study suffered body dissatisfaction. However, does the portrayal of a thin ideal in the media influence body satisfaction? This was examined when Bell, Lawton and Dittmarr (2007) studied the extent thin models in the music videos affect levels of body satisfaction and found that there was a significant decline in body satisfaction prior to watching music videos containing images of thin models (Bell, Lawton & Dittmar, 2007). Therefore, this study provides evidence to suggest that thin models have a negative effect on body satisfaction in adolescent girls; thus reinforcing concerns on the effects of underweight models in the media. Although the previous study may be criticised for only examining the affects on 16 to 19 year old girls to the exposure of thin models in music videos, the results support a previous study conducted by Tiggerman and Slater where college aged women were assessed on the same variables (2004; as cited in Bell, Lawton and Dittmar, 2007). Even though the emphasis on thinness in the media does not directly affect the development of eating disorders, Stice & Whitenton (2002) examined the extent to which thin media images had an effect on developing eating disorders in comparison to other factors. It was observed that the girls who reported pressure to be thin were four times more likely to be dissatisfied with their bodies. Furthermore, the biggest influence of this was found to be social pressure to be thin (Stice & Whitenton, 2002). There is an overwhelming body of support in the psychological community that exposure to images of thin models has a negative affect on women, with a meta-analysis of 25 experimental studies concluding that such exposure leads women to feel worse about themselves than exposure to other types of images in advertising (Halliwell & Dittmar, 2005). Since the negative affects of the use of thin models in media is widely reported, why does the fashion industry continue to endorse ultra-thinness as the epitome of beauty? Fashion designers are reported to select models that best show off their clothes by attracting attention, and defend the use of stick-like models as a means to achieving this attention. Designers apparently do not perceive the “heroin-chic” look as natural, however they continue to employ emaciated models as human coat-hangers (Bolger, 2007). While there is surmounting evidence based on psychological experiments to suggest that a ban on underweight models in the media would be useful in salvaging an attainable cultural ideal of beauty, the fashion industry tends to deny such advice in order to sell their products. And even though the industry has been warned on the potential dangers of their skeleton-worship by psychological professionals, there is enough evidence that regulations on the fashion industry are needed after the deaths of three models from excessive dieting in 2006 alone. While the fashion industry have outlined a few guidelines to designers in an attempt to set a healthy example, such as recommendations that models get more sleep and have nutritious backstage catering, these guidelines are merely superficial and act only as a way to avoid the proposed international regulations (Wilson, 2007). After the examination of literature on the effects of thin models in the media, it is clear that that arguments of fashion officials detailing the proposed international ban of underweight models as unethical are bias and unfounded. This view is bias because the aim of the industry is to generate wealth, which in turn discredits the views of the fashion industry. In contrast, support of such a regulation can be backed up by results and conclusions of numerous experimental reports which were obtained by psychologists. These results are a consequence of methodological processes which measure relationships in an objective way, as it leaves room for falsification of the hypotheses. In summation, this essay outlined the arguments for and against the ban of underweight models in the media. Literature on both sides of the debate was critically evaluated. While the views of prominent fashion industry representatives were taken into account, the lack of psychological or scientific evidence to back up their resistance to the proposed bans leaves it obvious that their opinions are based on the desire to sell their product. In contrast to this, there was overwhelming psychological evidence to suggest such a ban would have a positive affect on the body satisfaction of society, and in particular adolescent females. While the proposed bans to exclude potential models on the basis of their Body Mass Index may at first appear to be discriminatory and a limitation to freedom of design, the potential benefits of enforcing these regulations of the international fashion industry would greatly outweigh this. In a time when anorexia nervosa is the third largest cause of illness in the women of Australia, regulations for the fashion industry to set a healthy and attainable ideal can only be a positive move.
topic: Essays
[reply] [18 comments]

SAVE CAMDEN MARKET!!	September 7, 2007, 6:51AM
by: Spike-Faery
Camden Council have given the go ahead for the wrecking balls to go in and destroy Stables Market in Camden. This means the end of the many unique Galleries and stores found in the stables that provide the foundations of alternative styles and living know around the world as one of the best things in all of London. What could be put in its place? Boots, H&M and Topshop etc, Like as if there isnt enough of the mainstream shops in London or the rest of the Uk for that instance. PLEASE help us stop them from doing this by signing the Goverment petition http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/camdenmarket/ Petition Details: I object to the current planning proposals (ref: 2006/3182/P) and all associated proposals, on the grounds that The Stables Market is a unique architectural site and a pivotal part of London's heritage. The proposed building plans will leave the original architecture of the Arches obscured & unrecognisable. The diverse & quirky appeal of the market has endured for generations, to Londoners & tourists alike, all of whom flock to Camden to soak up the vibrant and inimitable atmosphere, which is now being eroded by modernistic re-developments. Small innovative traders, unable to afford higher rents, are already being forced out of the market, making way for the more well known stores to slip in. Camden's Markets are an essential part of the Alternative World & ain't there enough shopping malls across the country - there is only ONE Camden..& if we lose it to the main stream, where will we turn??? Camden Lock History Starting around 1791 Earl Camden and others began to develop land on both sides of the southern part of what is now Camden High Street, but which was then an old coaching route to Hampstead and the north. Before this time there were only a couple of inns (including the Mother Red Cap where the World's End pub now stands), and a few other isolated buildings in this area of open countryside outside London. Certainly the area around Camden Lock was agricultural land right up until the time the Regent's Canal was built to link the Grand Junction Canal at Paddington with the River Thames at Limehouse.This enabled goods to be moved by barge more easily from the industrial Midlands to the London docks. (The canal was first suggested by Thomas Homer in 1802; the necessary Act of Parliament was passed in 1812, and the canal was opened in 1820.) When the canal was being built an experimental 'hydro-pneumatic lock' was proposed in order to save water which was not readily available to top up the canal. The new invention failed to work and so conventional double locks were installed, and are still functioning today. The barges carrying goods on the canal were originally pulled by horses along the towpath. A bridge, used by these horses to cross the canal still survives, and is one route visitors may take into the market. Warehouses and other businesses were constructed along the canal banks in the following few years, and were operated successfully until the end of the first canal era around the beginning of the 1950s when road transport killed off most of the waterway traffic, and the canals fell into decline. In 1971 some of these unwanted industrial buildings and land, including T.E.Dingwall's timber yard, were leased from British Waterways Board by three young men with new ideas, and in 1972 they sub-let some of the old buildings on short leases as craft workshops, and soon afterwards a weekend market was started on cobbled open yards nearby. The market's accent was on traditional crafts, but soon broadened to include a wide variety of goods including antiques, and clothing with a scattering of food stalls. The old railway bridge over Chalk Farm Road next to the site was painted with a 'trompe d'oeuil' image which has since become the icon for Camden Lock. This market soon began to attract large numbers of Londoners and tourists because of the character and quality of the goods on sale, and because of the uniqueness of the location. Boat trips and walks along the canal, or just watching the barges pass through the lock gates from the Dingwall's beer garden, became, and are still important parts of the attraction of Camden Lock. Sunday trading was permitted on this private site when it was not allowed in many places elsewhere and this also contributed to its success. By 1985, so popular had the area become that three other markets had opened on or near Chalk Farm Road, and most of the businesses between Camden Town and Chalk Farm Underground stations had changed hands and become shops and restaurants catering mainly for visitors rather than locals. The building of new studios, with its famous giant eggs and cups on the roof, for Britain's first Breakfast TV station (TV-am), and now the London home of MTV, set a pattern for the arrival of an increasing number of international media companies which have changed the business face of Camden Town over the past 10 years. In 1990 many of the old buildings at the Lock were renovated and a new Market Hall with three floors of small shops and other businesses, was built over one of the previous open market areas of stalls next to the main road. The East, Middle and West Yards and the newly named Camden Lock Place remained open air areas for stalls, lined with interesting small shops and workshops. The design for this fine building was based on a classic Victorian trading hall with wrought iron railings and tiled floors, so well done that few visitors realise it is relatively new. One building used for stabling canal work horses has been carefully preserved and is now known as Dingwall's Gallery, next to the Market Hall. Most of the shop units created in the rebuilding were taken on by previous stall holders to preserve continuity. There are no chain stores here. Over the past few years the main change has been the development of seven-day trading at Camden Lock Market and other markets in Camden are following suit with many stalls to be found any day of the week, 52 weeks a year. In addition most Camden shops are now staying open seven days a week. In 1997 the approach to the market from Camden Town Underground was much improved for pedestrians by widening of the pavements, and the introduction of seating and other landscaping features. This has been done in a most skilful and attractive way which has made the area a pleasanter place for traders and visitors alike. Help to save the last remaining Alternative & Gothic Culture in London. Get down to Camden & save it from becoming a Mainstream Location similar to that of everywhere else in London.
topic: Rants
[reply] [1 comment]

Don't be a Girly Man	September 3, 2007, 3:31PM
by: Drain-The-Blood
Masculinity in Modern America is proving its self more than a problem. Each year there are countless deaths from fraternities, sororities, concerts, alcohol posioning, basic rituals and traditions that should be consedered taboo. In-grained with American society for countless years masculinity and its stereotypes are ruining the youth, are ruining society, ruining the ways of men and women. Researching Fraternities and Sororities, writting about them before, it shows how masculinity has taken a role in the lives of the "brothers" and "little sisters" of these special college groups. Brutal traditions get worse and worse each year. Because of what the older members had to go through to prove their worth for the group, they make pledges go through things twice as worse. Making them drink until they throw up and then eat the throw up while getting more alcohol. Taking beatings to prove toughness, taking mental and pyhscial abuse to gain approval of the older members of the fraternities. Despite the college life its come to my attention that Americas culture and sub-cultures are in-grained with masculinity stereotypes as well. Clearly it should of been obvious until a personal experiance. Hip hop, rap, Punk, rock, metal, in every culture and sub-culture of America, masculinity is in-twined in each of these cultures. Youth flock to each different culture in hopes of rebelling agaisn't American norms. However its redundant because masculinity is so in-grained with in America, that its even in the other cultures technically making "rebelling" useless. Men still have to fuck as many women as possible with out emotion, drink as much as they can afford, and take brutal beatings, basically the heiarchy of these cultures are no different than that of Fraternities. Every man in America must have a "shelf of masculinity" to prove his worth amongst peers with fear of being ridicueled, beaten, or called a "pussy" which in its self is a derogitory term towards women making them seem weak and helpless. Having a need to fill the shelf of masculinity, peer pressure and norms of Masculinity cause idiotic ways of proof, taking a beating while moshing, drinking a bottle of vodka and chasing it with everclear, any thing that will give one the approval of those peers to be accepted amongst them and the group. Honestly such rituals are disguisting to f*%k as many women as you can before recieving an STD with out feeling an ounce of emotion. Sex is supposed to be a bonding between two people that feel love for each other, there are even specefic chemicals in the brain that help create this bond. Masculinity is practiced as such and always will be. Espcially in a Capitialistic society that practices advertising masculinity to sell products. Basically using insecurities to make profit, as every company does in America. Advertisments like "You're a queer if you do not drink our beer!" showing pictures of half naked women crowding around a man. Making "rebelling" irrevalent if one does not know about such problems through out society in America. Most likely you'll keep filling that shelf of masculinity with trophies and badges of man-hood. In some Southern Pacific Island culture including Japanese culture and tradition, women were looked upon as sacred people. Its looked well upon families who have sons that are raised as women and house keepers that dress in drag, for boys who lose their virginity to such it isn't looked down upon either. In fact back in the day of the geisha there were males houses just like the geisha houses where japanese men could goto and it wasn't looked as "homosexual" it was actually more preferred in some Japanese men to be with men, same as the Greek cultures. America is ruining its self with stereotypes of masculinity.
topic: Various
[reply] [17 comments]

Homophobic men are really closet queers	September 1, 2007, 2:01AM
by: WhoWantsToBeMe
and the American Psychological Association can prove it: August 1996 Press Release WASHINGTON -- Psychoanalytic theory holds that homophobia -- the fear, anxiety, anger, discomfort and aversion that some ostensibly heterosexual people hold for gay individuals -- is the result of repressed homosexual urges that the person is either unaware of or denies. A study appearing in the August 1996 issue of the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association (APA), provides new empirical evidence that is consistent with that theory. Researchers at the University of Georgia conducted an experiment involving 35 homophobic men and 29 nonhomophobic men as measured by the Index of Homophobia scale. All the participants selected for the study described themselves as exclusively heterosexual both in terms of sexual arousal and experience. Each participant was exposed to sexually explicit erotic stimuli consisting of heterosexual, male homosexual and lesbian videotapes (but not necessarily in that order). Their degree of sexual arousal was measured by penile plethysmography, which precisely measures and records male tumescence. Men in both groups were aroused by about the same degree by the video depicting heterosexual sexual behavior and by the video showing two women engaged in sexual behavior. The only significant difference in degree of arousal between the two groups occurred when they viewed the video depicting male homosexual sex: 'The homophobic men showed a significant increase in penile circumference to the male homosexual video, but the control [nonhomophobic] men did not.' Broken down further, the measurements showed that while 66% of the nonhomophobic group showed no significant tumescence while watching the male homosexual video, only 20% of the homophobic men showed little or no evidence of arousal. Similarly, while 24% of the nonhomophobic men showed definite tumescence while watching the homosexual video, 54% of the homophobic men did. When asked to give their own subjective assessment of the degree to which they were aroused by watching each of the three videos, men in both groups gave answers that tracked fairly closely with the results of the objective physiological measurement, with one exception: the homophobic men significantly underestimated their degree of arousal by the male homosexual video. Do these findings mean, then, that homophobia in men is a reaction to repressed homosexual urges, as psychoanalysis theorizes? While their findings are consistent with that theory, the authors note that there is another, competing theoretical explanation: anxiety. According to this theory, viewing the male homosexual videotape may have caused negative emotions (such as anxiety) in the homophobic men, but not in the nonhomophobic men. As the authors note, 'anxiety has been shown to enhance arousal and erection,' and so it is also possible that 'a response to homosexual stimuli [in these men] is a function of the threat condition rather than sexual arousal per se. These competing notions can and should be evaluated by future research.' Article: 'Is Homophobia Associated With Homosexual Arousal?' by Henry E. Adams, Ph.D., Lester W. Wright, Jr., Ph.D. and Bethany A. Lohr, University of Georgia, in Journal of Abnormal Psychology, Vol. 105, No. 3, pp 440-445. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The American Psychological Association (APA), in Washington,DC, is the largest scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States and is the world's largest association of psychologists. APA's membership includes more than 142,000 researchers, educators, clinicians, consultants and students. Through its divisions in 49 subfields of psychology and affiliations with 58 state and Canadian provincial associations, APA works to advance psychology as a science, as a profession and as a means of promoting human welfare.
topic: Various
[reply] [3 comments]

Morally Bankrupt: Abstience Only Sex Education	August 29, 2007, 10:14PM
by: communistdaughter
In a country whose teen pregnancy rate is more than twice as high as countries which advocate comprehensive sex education, the United States continues to spend more than $100 million a year to promote abstinence-only sex education. While well-meaning, these programs do adolescents more harm than good. These programs promote abstinence until marriage with very few programs teaching the proper use of contraceptives. The median age for intercourse in girls is 17.4 years, marriage being 25.4 years, and 17.7 years and 27.1 years for men, respectively. In fact, by age 18, 70% of U.S. teens will have had oral sex at least once. With such staggering statistics, teenagers taught in abstinence-only programs are being withheld vital information for their well-being. According to the American Civil Liberties Union, nearly two-thirds of high school seniors have engaged in sexual intercourse. Since abstinence-only education programs teach little or false information about birth control and contraceptives, these teens become more susceptible to STIs (sexually transmitted infections), HIV/AIDS, and unwanted pregnancies. Young adults under the age of 25 contribute to half of new HIV infections, 25% occurring among those 22 and younger. In addition, 18.9 million cases of STIs occur among those under age 25. With little information about birth control options, 80% of the 800,000 pregnancies in adolescents are unintended. These programs also withhold or exaggerate options for such pregnancies. Many programs teach students that the only option for teenage pregnancy is carrying the baby to term and giving it up for adoption. But traight students are not the only ones at risk. Since these programs generally enforce a message of marriage, homosexual and questioning students remain unprotected due to withheld and ignored information about contraceptives and safe sex. In fact, some government-funded programs are forced to omit such controversial topics like AIDS, sexual orientation, contraceptives, masturbation, and abortion. While some programs omit information, some falsify or mislead information to fit the government-funded curricula. Many of the lessons, such as pre-marital sex, are based on religious belief, not scientific fact. Though most curricula are government funded, some are not reviewed by the government for accuracy, putting students’ health in danger. Controversial subjects are presented with deceptive information. Effects of abortion, a subject obviously not advocated by religious beliefs, are severely exaggerated. Some programs teach students that five to ten percent of legal abortions leave women sterile, a claim which remains unsupported by scientific study. Failure rates of condoms are also greatly overstated. Some curricula teach that one out of seven times a condom is used, pregnancy results. The FDA, however, states that condoms have a yearly failure rate of eleven percent, and, with proper use, the failure rate drops to three percent. Some programs teach that HIV can be spread through contact with another person’s tears or sweat and that simply touching someone’s genitals can result in pregnancy. Such misleading facts can lead adolescents to believe that condoms are completely ineffective. Due to religious overtones, some programs teach lessons which enforce gender roles. Girls are taught that they must support their husbands domestically while their husbands support them financially. Girls are also taught that they should protect themselves because they are more susceptible to temptations due to their emotions, making them dependent on the wills of men. Girls learn that their happiness depends on relationships. Conversely, boys’ happiness relies on their accomplishments, and girls should show their admiration of boys. Information based on religion taps into the ethical appeals of adolescents concerning abortion and pregnancy. Without scientific facts to support such logic, one program describes a 43-day-old fetus as a “thinking person,” while another describes a fetus “[snuggling] into the soft lining of the mother’s uterus. If so many abstinence-only programs are funded across the country, one might assume that such programs receive abundant support by the community and school faculties. However, the majority of teachers and parents alike oppose the abstinence-only curricula. An overwhelming ninety percent of parents support sex-education in schools against just seven percent who did not. Only fifteen percent of parents surveyed advocated abstinence-only sex education for their children. However, 95% support teaching that sex should be put off until adulthood though 99% supported STD information taught in schools. A staggering percentage of teachers supported comprehensive sex education with 93.4% supporting the teaching of birth control methods, 89% factual information concerning birth control, 88.8% facilities to find birth control, 82% the correct use of condoms, and 77.8% sexual orientation. Little evidence supports the effectiveness of abstinence-only sex education. In fact, more evidence is stacked against these programs than for them. Some abstinence-only programs endorse the use of chastity rings and abstinence pledges. The majority of the vows and pledges made are broken with many repercussions due to little or inadequate knowledge about safe sex. A study of 12,000 students done by the Journal of Adolescent Health found that those who make and break abstinence pledges are less likely to use condoms their first time, just as likely to contract an STD as those who are not abstinent, and less likely to get tested for STDs after having sex. Comprehensive sex education has been proven to be more effective. These programs teach adolescents about the proper use of condoms and other contraceptives, options for unwanted pregnancies, and portray information about sex and its consequences accurately without judgment while endorsing abstinence as the only sure way to avoid STDs, HIV/AIDS, and pregnancy. Some endorsers of abstinence-only sex education may argue that adolescents taught about safe sex would be more likely to engage in sexual intercourse. In July 2001, however, the Surgeon General reported that “…providing information about contraceptives does not increase adolescent sexual activity” and comprehensive sex education programs may “…delay [the] initiation of sexual activity.” Some teens will most likely always engage in sexual intercourse before marriage. Schools and the government have an equal obligation to teach them correct, useful, and positive information about safe sex and the options they have once they decide to have sex. Abstinence-only education has proven to be ineffective, and, though adolescents will continue to contract STDs and become pregnant, the most effective means of teaching them about sex is as simple as ABC: Abstain, be faithful, and correctively and consistently use condoms.
topic: Current Events
[reply] [25 comments]

Ode to the victim.	August 29, 2007, 12:42AM
by: Juiceboxes
In life, everyone experiences traumatic events. Death, accidents, abuse, discrimination. More people than one would think walk away with the same feeling. "This is my fault." No victim is to blame for the event that befalls her. I was inspired to write this article by an event from my past, with which I am just recently coming to terms. In 2002, I was a happy, bright junior high student. I was in gifted classes with a lot going for me. I was in love with music. In band, I played four instruments—the flute, the saxophone, the drums, and the clarinet. The clarinet was the first instrument I ever played, so it was my first musical love. I was up for audition for the Texas All-State band. It was an amazing thing for me. I would practice the 55 minutes I had during class, and then stay 2-3 hours after school and practice more. I was going in as a clarinet player. My parents were proud, my teachers were proud, my friends were proud. I was proud; this was a big thing for me. My band director had become like a second father to me. He was always there to help me, support me, calm me down when I messed up, and answer all of my questions. For a full month I practiced non-stop, without problem. Slowly, things started to get awkward. My band director would hug me more than he did the other kids. He'd give me more attention. My boyfriend was in my section in band, and we would sit together and hold hands. For the longest time, this was okay. The director snapped at us suddenly one day, saying he "didn't want any of that lovey dovey shit" in his class. We were separated. He started writing me poems, and showing them to me after school. He'd sit me down on his knee in his office and read them to me. He'd touch my butt and rub my hips. I didn't know what to do. More than once, I went home and broke down into tears. Twice, I went home and threw my stuff around. I broke my flute once and my saxophone the other time. I was afraid to practice alone anymore. My best friend at the time played the clarinet as well, and I asked her to practice with me. She was too busy to audition for All-State, but when I practically begged her not to make me go alone. She agreed. He avoided us for a while, until about two weeks before my Audition. He said he needed to hear my audition before allowing me to sign the confirmation sheet. My best friend was in the room when he stood behind me as I played. He grabbed my butt twice and put his hands on my hips. She stopped playing and looked at me. I was crying, and I just shook my head no. I didn't want her to say anything. If I did, he might not let me go. After that day, I skipped band everyday for over a week. I missed my practices and avoiding my director at all cost. He called my house and left a message that he had to see me again before Thursday to make sure I was ready. When the day came, I couldn't do it. Instead of going to band, I beat down my counselor's door. I had just planned to ask for a schedule change, but I broke down. Shaking, tearful, and with my voice cracking, I told Miss Jumper everything. Her eyes went wide when I finished and she hugged me. And you know what happens when someone hugs you when you're upset. You get more upset, and you cry harder. I had to retell my story twice more. To my principal and assistant principal, then to the police. I had to listen to the police tell my mother, and I watched her face as the fact of what had happened to me registered. I didn't press charges; I just never wanted to see him again. He was fired from his job, and a personal restraining order was put on him. The school district placed one as well. He was never supposed to be near me, or any school in my district, ever again. Slowly, I was recovering. I had a few choice people who knew what happened, and my family knew. I was pretty sure I was going to be okay. I missed my Audition, but it was for a good reason. I started working hard again, and it was to make the Jazz band. I threw myself into my music and my school work, to move on from the tragic event that had befallen me. That Christmas, he showed up at my concert. He told all of the students that he had a heart attack and resigned seeking time to recover. When I heard that, I started falling apart. I didn't perform in my Christmas concert, I was in the bathroom, panicking. He wasn't supposed to be there, I wasn't supposed to have to see him. After that, I wasn't okay again. He made me feel like a bad person—a liar. I suddenly started looking from his view. He was just an older, lonely man looking for affection, and some little bitch ruined his chance. Some little whore took away his life and his job. This was a man that loved working with kids and I ruined it. I took away everything he had, and his pain, was my fault. I suffered with severe depression until finally admitting I needed help in April of '03. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I had to see a therapist and got put on Anti-Depressants and a sleep aid. I was in therapy for just sort of two years, and on medication for just short of one. The medicine helped me return from that empty feeling the guilt had given me, but it stifled my creativity. I asked to be taken off of it early, but as a precaution I was to stay in therapy. My therapist helped me realize that I was not a bad person for what I had done. My director had taken advantage of me and used my own weakness against me, I was a victim. I've lived for 5 years, with the shadow of that horrible act looming over me. It’s hurt my ability to trust people and damaged my self-image as a person. Even now, I don't believe I'll ever be pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough. But I have gotten stronger. Never again will I let people take advantage of me, and I stay very voiced about my beliefs and the kind of person I am. If this has happened to you, or if you are in a situation like this now, just remember, you are the victim. You don't deserve what has, or is, happening to you. If this has happened to you and you've moved on to live a productive and healthy life, kudos to you. I mean that with all of my heart. And if you are in one of these situations, please seek help. The longer you wait, the worse it will get. Nobody deserves it when things like this happen to them. No one deserves to suffer like that. I've finally recovered, and after 5 years. I can finally start moving on.
topic: Life
[reply] [12 comments]

eye for an eye	August 23, 2007, 12:37AM
by: the-grey-eyed-one
First things first: all of you people who get all butthurt about humanitarian issues such as the death penalty should probably click out of this article RIGHT NOW. I am very opinionated about this, and you are almost guarunteed to get offended. Anyone else, however, feel free to read my rantings, have interesting and insightful discussions about them, or just keep on going on with your life without being affected at all. It is my personal belief that the lex talionis mode of punishment spelled out in the Babylonian Code of Hammurabi should be reinstated in the United States government in cases of high crime(which, for my purposes, we will assume to be anything more severe than grand theft). I believe that our government, as the most powerful, wealthy, and most influential government in the world, should have the balls to say to high criminals, "If you stole that much money, we will take that much money from you. If you raped that woman, we will rape you back. If you gouged that mans eyes out with a pair of tweezers, you will meet the exact same fate." Now, dont think that I am a supporter of cruel and unusual punishment, because I'm not. I merely feel that criminals who are that desperate, that warped, that sick, deserve nothing less than the pain, torment, and/or loss that they forced upon their victims. It's only fair, as far as I can see. Child molesters, however, should not have this rule apply. They should get a far worse punishment. These cases, no matter how severe or how small, should be taken much more seriously, and these sick fucks should have to suffer for what they have done to those children. I have a friend who was molested in the fifth grade, and she still hasn't gotten over it. So, you can sort of see where my views on this come from. I believe that child molesters should get an automatic life sentence in prison, in solitary confinement. NO EXCEPTIONS. If you were convicted, you should have absolutely no chance of walking the streets again, ever, or having any contact with humans, except once a day at meal time. Another point I would like to touch on is our policies about the death penalty. I believe that if you recieve the death penalty, you should be eliminated right then and there, right in the courtroom. I am not neccessarily talking about making it a public spectical, it can be in a back room or something, but it should be carried out immediately. They should not be allowed to live on death row for 15 years before the exicutioner has the chance to get around to them. Also, I believe, back to the eye for an eye punishment aproach, you should be exicuted in the same way you killed your victims. If you shot them, your death will be by firing squad. If you drowned them, you'll be thrown in a lake with ur hands and feet tied off. If you completely maimed and mutilated their body, your body will be desicrated, maimed and mutilated using your exact methods. I base this entire belief and outlook on punishment on my own beliefs in karma, justice, and concience. These views do not reflect anyone but myself, I do not write to benifit any one group, nor to condemn another(except the criminals of the nature alluded to above). I take full responsiblility for these words, and they do not reflect the beliefs of DS or any other group or organization. Thank you for taking the time to read my rants, and i hope they have sparked some inspiration or perhaps some revalation in you. If not, thats all good, too. Thanks again, ~~Kurt Gem life may take my hands from me, but my heart cannot be stopped.
topic: Rants
[reply] [18 comments]

Females and Figure Issues	August 17, 2007, 4:16AM
by: Mooncradle
When I was younger I had the somewhat naive view that every female either likes the top part of her body or the bottom part of her body. Or, failing that, at least have one feature about her figure that she liked. Now when I originally held this view I weighed about 16 stone 4 pounds. That, for all the Americans out there, is 228 pounds to make matters worse, at the time I was about 5 foot tall. I don’t know if the view came from experience or just the fact at some point I wanted to be happier with my body than I was. I’m now 122 pounds as of this morning and I probably have lower self-esteem than I did when I was bigger. To me, my breasts seem tiny and saggy, I have what seems to be wings underneath my arms, a waist that just doesn’t quite go in enough and don’t even get me started on my arse. My thighs could probably crush any sexual partners of mine if I really tried hard enough and I have what could only be called “firm ankles”. Now you’ll be reading this and thinking “What the hell is she babbling about? I don’t want to hear her ranting off about her imperfections.” But before you press that “X” button, let me get to my point. When I was 16 stone 4 pounds the only issue I had with my body was that I had a double chin. Bizarre, huh? I had way higher self esteem when I had a 36-inch waist 48-inch bust and hips that my tape measure refused to reach to. Now I shit all self-esteem left, with my 24-inch waist, DD cup and muscular legs, I have like 9% body fat. I know why my self-esteem is lower now I fit pretty much into the standardised shape for being passable as projected by the media. I actually care more about how I look. Another issue that comes up is that most women (and men I do hope) think that bigger women can be extremely beautiful and classy, the problem is with most women they don’t believe that they look extremely beautiful and classy bigger, even when they are gorgeous. This of course gets bigger women insulted when a lady friend smaller than them wants to lose weight, of course the person wanting to lose weight probably thinks her larger friend is beautiful and suits her size, and wonders herself why she can’t look that good while being that size. So as a note to the beautiful confident larger women out there, don’t get insulted by your smaller friends who want to lose weight. Dear lord, please don’t ever ever ever say “I’m happy with my size so you should just deal with it.” Or as I occasionally get “You’re thin, so shut up.” You’re just going to plummet their self-esteem more. Oh and if a person has an ED it doesn’t mean that they hate larger women or don’t think they are pretty, just to clarify, because I’m so fed up of hearing that shit. The point I’m slowly struggling to get to is, why does the media and pretty much most of society portray that thinner is better? Of course to get thinner you have to care quite a lot about how you look, the more you care the more imperfections you’ll notice. If you’re anything like me, you’ll notice things that aren’t even there. So anyone who diets to raise their self-esteem by getting thinner, maybe you should think twice before you start caring a bit too much, because you might just make things worse for yourself. If you want to lose weight and fat, do it for your health not your ego. Because hell, dieting doesn’t even work for one of them.
topic: Rants
[reply] [62 comments]

BIGOT ALERT	August 16, 2007, 4:05AM
by: SirFoggy
Well I'm on this E-mailing list for a human rights group focusing primarily on GLBT issues.Usually I get stuff wanting money donations or whatever. (I don't got no stinkin' money!!,Lol) But this just arrived in my yahoo box and after reading it I had to let folks know. I hope this douchebag NEVER EVER gets anywhere near the Supreme Court bench!! "Should this man be appointed to the Federal bench? Leslie Southwick Tell your Senators to vote NO on Southwick's nomination Dear Joseph, In Mississippi a few years ago, the courts took away a woman's 8-year-old child. Why? In part because the child's mother was a lesbian. Two of the judges in the majority went so far as to write and sign an additional opinion, unnecessary to the case's outcome, which stated that the mother must accept the fact that losing her biological child was a possible consequence of her sexual "choice." One of those two judges was Leslie Southwick. And today, Southwick is dangerously close to being appointed to the Federal bench by President Bush. Only the Senate stands in the way of his confirmation - will you take action with me? Make sure your Senators return from their August break with a full inbox saying NO on Southwick's nomination! America's highest courts are meant to be protectors of justice, not prejudice. Yet Southwick's record as a Mississippi judge raises serious doubts about his ability to apply the law fairly to all Americans. In this case alone, Southwick: * Went so far as to cite Mississippi's irrelevant and outdated sodomy laws, which have since been invalidated. * Focused on "the practice of homosexuality" - refusing to even mention gay individuals as human beings. * Cited Mississippi's law prohibiting same-sex couples from adopting children - even though this was not an adoption case! The American Psychiatric Association has long held that sexual orientation is not a "choice," and that lesbian and gay parents are just as successful as their heterosexual counterparts. Yet Judge Southwick disregarded widely accepted science in favor of his personal bias. This man MUST NOT be given the responsibility to protect the basic rights of gay and lesbian Americans. Help protect GLBT civil rights by writing your Senators today. If approved to the Court of Appeals, Southwick's appointment would be for life. That's why I'm asking you to take action today - and when you're done, please forward this message on to everyone you know. Thank you. Warmly, Joe Solmonese" President
topic: Current Events
[reply] [0 comments]

Down In The Mill...	August 10, 2007, 2:22AM
by: eon
In keeping with the times I've been advised to increase the maximum allowed pictures to upload. I was told that many of you who toil in the mills are losing fingers, toes, noses and other such appendages and felt that the job required better compensation. And so here you have it: The wealthy and privileged Andromeda may now upload 100 pictures total. The less wealthy and priviliaged (but better looking in the face) Starlings may now upload 25 pictures total. I know, updates have been a little thin. As always, I never have as much time for R&D as I'd like, what with the realities of life keeping me busy aside from here. Yes, there are things in the works. Of course, everything I do is black-ops, so that's all I'll say (as ever). Just letting you know I haven't outsourced my development to the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. Yet. I know, our numbers have thinned, too. Does this worry you? Please, don't let it. Mostly, it's my fault for not keeping pace with development. Other sites continue to add improvements while I continue to juggle my time. But let's remember what this place was founded for to begin with: This was supposed to be a haven for us. Something a little more sane and real than popularity contests and the typical three-ring-commercialized-circus-side-show that describes most of the internet. I think that we've accomplished that if nothing else and as long as you guys want to hang around and haunt this place, I will too. If you get lonely, invite some friends. I know, I've done only a slight more than fuck-all to ever promote this place, but I wouldn't go so far as to discourage you from doing so if more people would make you smile. I've never held contests or anything of the sort to drive promotion. To me, it seems insincere. As it stands, in the nearly three years we've been here, no one has ever invited someone else to join DarkStarlings because they were getting something out of it. Period. And I think that's an awesome claim to make. But maybe I should be more realistic. There's nothing sincere about advertisement anyway and I should decide whether or not this place should be advertised in earnest. So, I definitely haven't ruled it out. I'll think about it, okay? Anyhoo, thanks again to everyone who makes this place what it is. Thanks to everyone who keeps this place alive. And truly, over the past months, that's been every one of you--and not so much me. *tips imaginary hat*
topic: Site News
[reply] [25 comments]

pages: back 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 next